Diana good luck! Sounds like you know what you have to do, he's been lying to her, then he's lying to you...it's clear that's not what you want anymore. Any man (or woman) that has another relationship going isn't worth the time. Much easier to say from the outside looking in of course.
I've found it difficult to get over my ex, he married right away after we broke up, and normally it would be ok for me to go through the mourning & move on, but I have to see him every single week and he brings the new wife with him. He acts as tho we never had a relationship (I guess somehow I managed to give birth to our son tho) and that is hard for me. Bringing her along and acting happy & perfect always seems like a slap in the face to me, but I see thru the lie. I know him, I know what he's done and I know why he did what he did. In those moments when it's just the two of us, (discussing our son) I can see it in his eyes. The good part of that is the only thing that stops me from taking two fingers & poking him in those melancholy eyes is the fact I know that he knows he screwed up. He has a part to play however, and he is doing his best to convince himself that he's happy.
I have my moments of "what if" but I've found, with time, those are few & far between. My heart no longer skips a beat when I see him or think about what she might have that I don't have and what not. Now when I see him I wonder what the heck I was thinking, he's pure evil most of the time and it's hard for me not to react to his idiocy, I have our son to think about there.
I think my biggest problem is dealing with his hypocrasy. Knowing he wasn't as into his religion as he pretends to be now, being a good little dub with his good little wife. Well, I've seen her other side and it ain't pretty, she's insecure and I guess it's easier to hate me than to hate the reason she's in her situation. I know she's got issues with him, but they must put on a happy face for everyone, especially me. Now that they have a new baby, I'm sure it's hard. He never was one for responsibility and well, now he's got it ten fold, and the cracks are showing. Revenge?? Nah..I feel sorry for that new baby more than anything. The man lives a lie, what does that mean for the baby?
IT does get better. Yes sometimes you only remember the good times, but my head has taken over for my heart and I know now that there were bad times as well and that is why we are where we are in our lives. Now my job is to make sure our son doesn't come out of this a stark raving lunatic! I have to be civil for the sake of my son.
Take care, it does get better! I've got 2 great kids to occupy my time and the knowledge that I'm much happier now with my life and it's because he's no longer in it. I look forward to my next challenges hopefully a little wiser!!
SK
@ elsewhere....too funny